Burnout. Jesus tried to warn me.
One morning, nine years into my first pastorate, I woke with a strong sense from the Lord that something in my life needed urgent attention. And that alert was accompanied with the impression that he would restrain its consequences for one year to give me time to cooperate with him in addressing it. I’d already suffered a case of shingles and seen my doctor about a chronic eye twitch, both of which can be brought on by stress. So, assuming the problem was related to overwork in my noble attempt to be a productive, modern pastor, I set about to make what I thought were appropriate adjustments.
But without first humbly seeking God regarding what was really wrong, I wasted precious time and energy addressing the wrong things. I concluded that what was required was changing the way our church was staffed, adjusting my work-life balance, and developing a hobby. But focusing on these kinds of things was like treating the symptoms while ignoring the disease. And eventually, the noisy racket from my self-help activity drowned out the Spirit’s cautioning voice.
Then, almost exactly one year later, I was taking a seminary course that required all the students to complete a personal spiritual assessment. The professor selected a few of them to review with the class, and mine happened to be the first chosen. He called my name and asked me to stand while he commented on my results. Thinking I was about to get some public affirmation, I confidently got to my feet and was completely unprepared for what happened next. He pointed his finger at me and said emphatically, “Unless you radically change how you’re living, you WILL lose your marriage, family, ministry, and health.”
That withering moment proved to be what author, Sheldon Vanauken, described as a “severe mercy,” and it changed the spiritual trajectory of my whole life. In an instant, all my efforts to fix myself were exposed as folly, and I immediately took a leave of absence from the church to desperately press into Jesus for his help.
This already-long story would become much longer if I described the details of the healing journey that resulted. But I’ll say this: I learned the importance and blessings of abiding. And that’s what John 15:4-8 records Jesus teaching his disciples.
The word translated as abide in this passage can also be rendered as stay or continue, and it points to the essential truth that the fruitful life we were created to enjoy will never be the result of our labors, however well-motivated. It can only be experienced by remaining deeply connected to Jesus. He told his followers that when a branch ceases to abide in the vine, it withers. And he said it’s the withered branches that get burned up.
That wasn’t a threat of punishment. It was a statement of fact that’s as true for people as it is for plants in a vineyard. Burnout, which can be defined as fatigue, frustration, stress, depression, and apathy wrapped in a profound sense of futility, is the inevitable result of failing to abide. Life cannot flow FROM us unless it’s first flowing INTO us. Fruitfulness begins with the vine not the branch and is the natural, effortless result of abiding. Stress is a check engine light on the dashboard of our souls sounding the alarm when vital connection to Jesus has been compromised.
But as much as these verses provide a strong word of caution, they also contain an astounding set of promises. Jesus pledged to abide in US as we abide in HIM and to unleash the fruitfulness he intends. He defined abiding as allowing his words to flow into us like life-giving nourishment from a vine, and that when we do, our desires will get reshaped and result in the kind of praying that gets answered. He also said the Father receives glory through our abiding and that it will identify us as his disciples.
I think you get the point. Staying plugged into Jesus matters. A lot. So, my prayer is that you won’t need to face your own moment of “severe mercy” before addressing the issue of abiding. Do it now.