Following Jesus’ revelation that one of the disciples would betray him, John 13:22-30 provides a vivid narrative describing their quest to find out which of them he meant. John, referring to himself as a “disciple whom Jesus loved,” was reclining nearest the Master. So, Peter signaled him to ask the Lord who it was. When John leaned back and whispered the question, Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it.”
When the Lord then gave that sop to Judas, it coincided with the moment his incremental drift from follower to traitor consummated, and Satan gained deep access to his soul. Then Jesus told him, “What you do, do quickly.” So, Judas walked out under the cover of darkness to do something so unthinkable, the rest of the disciples still weren’t sure what had happened.
Did Jesus make a mistake when he chose Judas as one of the Twelve? John 6:64 and 70 make clear he knew from the beginning what Judas would eventually do. But Mark 3:13 tells us he chose those he WANTED. So, it’s reasonable for us to ask why he WANTED someone he knew would ultimately betray him. Was Judas disposable, a necessary evil? Did he choose him just so he could play the role of villain in the Gospel narrative and initiate the process that would lead to the crucifixion?
The intersection of God’s foreknowledge, his sovereignty, and our free will is a very mysterious place, and we always need to tread lightly there. But I don’t think Jesus selected Judas for the purpose of enabling him to become the most notorious backstabber of all time. I think he chose him so he would at least have an opportunity not to.
Consider this: Just as Jesus predicted Judas’ betrayal, he also foretold Peter’s denial. But it’s clear he didn’t choose Peter so he could fail. In the aftermath of his sin, John 21:15-19 describes the Lord meeting him on the shores of Galilee following the resurrection specifically to facilitate his repentance and restore his apostolic appointment. And that makes me wonder if a similar reconciliation might have been available for Judas.
How might Judas’ story have unfolded differently if he hadn’t ended his own life? Of course, we can’t know the answer to that. But I think it’s important to at least ponder this question because a lot of us have failed the Savior in ways that like Judas, betrayed his trust and like Peter, denied our relationship with him. We need to know if there’s a way back from that because the devil is always quick to use our uncertainty to undermine the assurance of our salvation.
1 John 1:8-9 states the obvious when it says, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” But then, it gloriously declares that, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.” And since these amazing words were written to believers – people who had already placed their faith in Christ – they stand as a soul-securing reminder that no matter how we may fail our Savior, even after receiving his salvation, our sin can NEVER overpower his forgiveness. And even though there are always consequences produced by our disobedience that will have to be dealt with, whenever we confess or acknowledge our sin in repentance, we rediscover that we remain under the canopy of God’s grace.
Surely the awareness that informed these verses from John’s first epistle also shaped the phrase he used to described himself in his Gospel and applied to the rest of the Twelve as well…including Judas. And since we are also recipients of this stunning grace, it’s true for us too. Each of us is a disciple whom Jesus loves.